Ph.D. student dropout seeks Los Angeles bffs, professional wardrobe, new apartment, rocking hot bod, and Cubs World Series win. I enjoy gadgets, craft beer, politics, neuroscience, and my dog.
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this is it. this is the most important gif on tumblr.com





I’ve received a letter from the cowards at La Croix Water asking me to stop claiming to be their celebrity spokesman. Apparently La Croix is concerned they might lose valuable business from Michelle Malkin-reading, Benghazi-obsessed right wing psychos. You know, that’s fine. But they should know that I’m never drinking LaCroix again. They’ve lost the support of the original and number one #LACROIXBOY: me!

I urge Perrier and/or Polar Seltzer and/or San Pellegrino to hit me up immediately. I’d be happy to endorse their product, provided they have a sense of humor and aren’t total fucking pussies. 

This upsets me for a couple of reasons. First: I really love La Croix drinks. There’s just a HINT of flavor, be it grapefruit or coconut or whatever to their sparkling water drinks; I mean we are talking about a classy, understated beverage. Joe’s enthusiasm for these drinks was warranted. 

The other thing is that Joe Mande is funny and he “punches up” at shitty, mean, soulless targets like Darrell Issa, a man who STRAIGHT UP jerks his disgusting criminal dong  to the corpses of the Americans who died in Benghazi, or corporations who steamroll over human souls, steal from your grandmother, etc. Joe Mande is funny and outspoken and a good guy doing good things. Also, fucking IMAGINE the people who complained to La Croix about him. Seriously, take some time to imagine them. Are you crying because you just found out hell is on earth? Holy Christ, I can’t think of anything sadder. What an embarrassing company you are, La Croix. Also, you’re based in PLANTATION, FLORIDA, according to this letterhead, aka SLAVEGRAVE, CRIMINALHEAVEN. Fuck you, La Croix, you very tasty drink, sold by shitbags to finance Ted Cruz (I’m guessing.)



(Orange County California Area)

Hello everyone, I have been hesitant to do this, but I am rather desperate.

I know the chances of finding her are unlikely, but I really just need closure.

My family has been searching for Katie for 2+ months now, to no avail. We’ve walked neighbor hoods, put up posters, checked the shelters, even checked the county’s deceased pet list and we’ve found NOTHING!

The fact that she disappeared with out a trace is unusual, and we have begun to think that she was stolen.

She is a rather beautiful cat, but also very docile and social, so it is not surprising that someone would want her. However, she had a collar on at the time of her disappearance, meaning that someone willingly stole her despite knowing she has owners.

Katie has also been kind of a therapy animal for me as I periodically battle depression. Not knowing what has happened to her has been especially difficult for me.

If you have any information regarding Katie’s whereabouts, there is a reward if someone brings her home safely!

(More information about Katie can be found here.)

Please message me, and please signal boost!

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Well played, Lauren Conrad.

(via plannedparenthood)

Capitalism is weird

Capitalism is weird

(via fuckyeahdementia)


The Los Angeles of Her.

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Casual fridays arent allowed in the office after last weeks ‘incident’

What the

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Baked some iPhone cookies to trick cops into pulling me over, then I just take a bite and ask if cookies are against the law.

What did I tell you about this guy?!?


Los Angeles, CA
7th & Mateo St
November 15, 2013

(via tumblangeles)

"One congressman said that Obamacare is ‘the most dangerous piece of legislation ever passed’ — ever, in the history of America. This is the most dangerous piece of legislation. Providing, creating a marketplace so people can buy group insurance plan, the most dangerous ever.

"You had a state representative somewhere say that it’s ‘as destructive to personal and individual liberty as the Fugitive Slave Act.’ Think about that. Affordable health care is worse than a law that lets slave owners get their runaway slaves back. I mean, these are quotes. I’m not making this stuff up."

"And here’s one more that I’ve heard. I like this one. ‘We have to’ — and I’m quoting here — ‘we have to repeal this failure before it literally kills women, kills children, kills senior citizens.’ Now, I have to say, that one was from six months ago. I just want to point out we still have women, we still have children, we still have senior citizens. All this would be funny if it wasn’t so crazy."

“…[Once the Affordable Care Act is] working well, I guarantee you they will not call it ‘Obamacare.’”


What is Syria?


Syria is an Asian republic of 22,530,746 in the Middle East bordering Lebanon and the Mediterranean Sea to the West, Turkey to the north, Iraq to the east, Jordan to the south and Israel to the southwest. It is primarily populated by Arab Sunnis…